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Sunday, August 10, 2008

PRIME- Chapter 14

14. The Two Strangers

The moonlight shone brightly on the walls of Flintop’s Mansion even in the dreary dark midnight.
The figures inside the house were having a deep sleep. The lawn to the left observed some movements; some brown woodland shoes dirtied the lawn’s grass, trampling small pink flower they approached the house and ceased at their destination- the window.
The moonlight shone over his brown apparel looking like a white stream flowing over mud.
Soon the figure reached at the window who was greeted by another figure.
‘You are late’ said the insider.
‘I don’t care I want money’ replied the stranger, his voice of Italian assent.
‘I don’t have’
‘I want it damn you’
‘Ol’ right just wait for a while’
‘I want to be back… back in our business do you understand.’
‘O.k. bye for now’
‘Bye’
With that the fellow descended along the path of green grass shining with white moonlight, the insider also went back to sleep in the midst of dark.

But there wasn’t sleep in the alfresco, how did the stranger knew that he had to encounter another stranger not with brown but black clothing, having more power than him and longer in height. The longer one grabbed the shorter and enveloped his wet lips with a white satin handkerchief, resulting in unconsciousness of the short stranger, who fell in the grass and was then thrown away in the back seat of his black Ford.
Then with his work done the stranger went on the house proudly like it was his owned property, and he too like the first one stopped at the window, another figure appeared not the same, his voice was different from the first and so was the stranger’s, but still familiar.
The stranger asked the insider ‘I am sick. Now when I have to show up’
‘Wait up’ was the reply
‘See either you do it a nice quite way or I’ll use the blow-up head technique’
‘Patience!!!’
‘Don’t talk like a paid pope’
‘You just gimme time… a day or two, you go we’ll come’
‘Ol’ rite’ replied the stranger and he slipped away...




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80 comments:

parth said...

nice
but i ve not read other chap :(

The Lover said...

i just read this chapter n i think ill come back to read the rest...

suarrr said...

paid pope!!

keep writing..
-ankit

Saumendra Bajpai said...

..dear friend-

Its so bloody cluttered !! I went to your first blog, couldnt easily find a place to comment either !!

Constructive criticism only...no hard feeling.. :)

Attila said...

the genre of literature is very slightly different than that of your brother's.. except that you use a more mature language.

but I like it!!

[-V-] said...

"Italian assent"

nice piece by the way

prashant said...

good work

RINZU SUSAN RAJAN said...

GR888 WAY OF NARRATION...!!!


:)

The Lover said...

this comment is not related to the post...i saw ur drawings n i really liked them....

arachesostufo said...

non ci capisco niente

Tanmay said...

nice..but i would recommend a shoutbox..
and if you are 15 years old then how are you using these ads yo can have no acc..

hitsu said...

Hi there, thanks for the visit.. Care to exchange links?

Varun said...

good way of narration.interesting.Do keep going,I'll be back for more.

Shruti Sharma said...

good work dude!

keep writting

Crystal.. said...

Beautiful!

Matangi Mawley said...

good narration..

Hakuna Matata said...

I could swear ur lying. I really cant believe ur 15!!

priyaa iyer said...

nice work
!

Hapi said...

Gain up to 600 visitors in a day for just one message here.

Vivek Menon said...

good cartoons buddy...keep animating..

Dr. Internet said...

Keep writing junior!

jayanta deka said...

a cool one...

keep writing...

www.jdodyssey.blogspot.com

Abhinav Viswambharan said...

man, you indeed write in a gripping way...

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yaseen said...

nice one..

mine: www.rdgunsyaz.blogspot.com

Princess Journal said...

I must say that u r really good at drawing cartoons.. the story was nice..

Dr. Internet said...

Cool blog you have shiva!

I am the light within said...

very addictive blog.....will keep cfollowin it

Sathish said...

mm... Nice piece

sharad said...

nice post but i didnt really enjoyed it,i think u have written it with reluctance,try to make more contrast in your posts

Aashudh Aatma said...

amazing cartoons. love it!!!

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Cursed♪♫ said...

heya!!
You're good at writing !! Keep it up :)
Will be looking forward for your next post!
Take Care :D

arpit661 said...

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Zanil Hyder said...

Very good naration.

Names to the characters would have made it better else it gets a little confusing.

keep writing.

癢癢 said...

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雪糕 said...

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dog said...

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韋于倫成 said...

我們這一代最偉大的發現是,人類可以藉由改變心中的態度來改變人生。 ..................................................

家谷 said...

如果你批評他人。你就沒有時間付出愛......................................................

羅文浩 said...

與朋友在一起,分擔的痛苦是減半的痛苦,分享的快樂是加倍的快樂。 ............................................................

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峻龍 said...

能猜得出女人真實年齡的男人也許耳聰目明,但肯定毫無大腦。哈哈!..................................................................

邦雄 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................................

江婷 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。......................................................................

貴寶 said...

It takes all kinds to make a world.............................................................

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培養健全孩子最好的方法是父母先成為健全的人。............................................................

楊儀卉 said...

Poverty is stranger to industry.............................................................

王彥李威昌霖 said...

It is easier to get than to keep it.......................................................................

蔡苡玄 said...

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偉曹琬 said...

相見亦無事,不來常思君..................................................................

偉曹琬 said...

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愛,拆開來是心和受兩個字。用心去接受對方的一切,用心去愛對方的所有。......................................................................

志涛 said...

期待你的下次更新喔^____^..................................................

 

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