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Sunday, August 10, 2008

PRIME- Chapter 14

14. The Two Strangers

The moonlight shone brightly on the walls of Flintop’s Mansion even in the dreary dark midnight.
The figures inside the house were having a deep sleep. The lawn to the left observed some movements; some brown woodland shoes dirtied the lawn’s grass, trampling small pink flower they approached the house and ceased at their destination- the window.
The moonlight shone over his brown apparel looking like a white stream flowing over mud.
Soon the figure reached at the window who was greeted by another figure.
‘You are late’ said the insider.
‘I don’t care I want money’ replied the stranger, his voice of Italian assent.
‘I don’t have’
‘I want it damn you’
‘Ol’ right just wait for a while’
‘I want to be back… back in our business do you understand.’
‘O.k. bye for now’
‘Bye’
With that the fellow descended along the path of green grass shining with white moonlight, the insider also went back to sleep in the midst of dark.

But there wasn’t sleep in the alfresco, how did the stranger knew that he had to encounter another stranger not with brown but black clothing, having more power than him and longer in height. The longer one grabbed the shorter and enveloped his wet lips with a white satin handkerchief, resulting in unconsciousness of the short stranger, who fell in the grass and was then thrown away in the back seat of his black Ford.
Then with his work done the stranger went on the house proudly like it was his owned property, and he too like the first one stopped at the window, another figure appeared not the same, his voice was different from the first and so was the stranger’s, but still familiar.
The stranger asked the insider ‘I am sick. Now when I have to show up’
‘Wait up’ was the reply
‘See either you do it a nice quite way or I’ll use the blow-up head technique’
‘Patience!!!’
‘Don’t talk like a paid pope’
‘You just gimme time… a day or two, you go we’ll come’
‘Ol’ rite’ replied the stranger and he slipped away...




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34 comments:

parth said...

nice
but i ve not read other chap :(

Anonymous said...

i just read this chapter n i think ill come back to read the rest...

suarrr said...

paid pope!!

keep writing..
-ankit

Saumendra Bajpai said...

..dear friend-

Its so bloody cluttered !! I went to your first blog, couldnt easily find a place to comment either !!

Constructive criticism only...no hard feeling.. :)

Karmasura said...

the genre of literature is very slightly different than that of your brother's.. except that you use a more mature language.

but I like it!!

rainboy said...

"Italian assent"

nice piece by the way

Unknown said...

good work

Rinzu said...

GR888 WAY OF NARRATION...!!!


:)

Anonymous said...

this comment is not related to the post...i saw ur drawings n i really liked them....

arachesostufo said...

non ci capisco niente

Tanmay said...

nice..but i would recommend a shoutbox..
and if you are 15 years old then how are you using these ads yo can have no acc..

hitsu said...

Hi there, thanks for the visit.. Care to exchange links?

Varun said...

good way of narration.interesting.Do keep going,I'll be back for more.

Blank Space said...

good work dude!

keep writting

Cяystal said...

Beautiful!

Matangi Mawley said...

good narration..

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

I could swear ur lying. I really cant believe ur 15!!

Bleeding words said...

nice work
!

Vivek Menon said...

good cartoons buddy...keep animating..

Dr. Internet said...

Keep writing junior!

Jayanta Deka said...

a cool one...

keep writing...

www.jdodyssey.blogspot.com

Abhinav Viswambharan said...

man, you indeed write in a gripping way...

Yaseen said...

nice one..

mine: www.rdgunsyaz.blogspot.com

Princess Journal said...

I must say that u r really good at drawing cartoons.. the story was nice..

Dr. Internet said...

Cool blog you have shiva!

I am the light within said...

very addictive blog.....will keep cfollowin it

Unknown said...

mm... Nice piece

sharad said...

nice post but i didnt really enjoyed it,i think u have written it with reluctance,try to make more contrast in your posts

Aashudh Aatma said...

amazing cartoons. love it!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Wednesday! Bloghoppin' here... Hey, I have an interesting tutorial for you that I have written myself. It is about adding Adsense on your Single Post in XML template. I hope you'll like it! God Bless you!

PhilO♥ said...

heya!!
You're good at writing !! Keep it up :)
Will be looking forward for your next post!
Take Care :D

Zanil Hyder said...

Very good naration.

Names to the characters would have made it better else it gets a little confusing.

keep writing.

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