V.CoL Headline Animator

V.CoL
Start reading Prime from *here*

Monday, November 19, 2007

PRIME- Chapter 9


9.3B’s

‘So you want to know how?’ Flintop removed his cap placed it at the centre of the nearby table.
‘Ya I wanna know how a dead can be alive and alive can be dead.’ Grevelauy replied haughtily.
‘So don’t you know how an alive can be dead?’
‘I meant to say…’
‘I know I know… its all about the 3B’s’
‘3B’s’ both the brother said at the same time, looking hooked.
‘Blood,Breath,Bury’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Grevelauy staring at Flintop.
‘What do I mean?
‘Yeah’
‘I survived that bullshit who tried to kill me’
‘How man how?’
‘I am not a damn’ fool, I have got money and when I visit some sick hotels, I use that bloody money to buy a bullet proof vest’
‘That’s the first B’
‘Yeah good guess Gravy…’
‘Hey my name is Grevelauy’
‘Whatever alloy… I had a 2 cent tomato ketchup pouch in my shirt’s pocket which fortunately was in front of my bullet proof vest, the sauce spilled and so the blood helped me.’
‘Helped you?’
‘Yeah it did’
‘How?’
‘I could feel the pleasure of seeing Jenafur cry’
‘Very funny’
‘The third B… I finally held my breath for few minutes after those pallbearers threw me in’
‘Very smart’
‘That I am’
‘But where were you till then’
‘The Granny’s house’
‘The Granny’s house’
‘Yeah can’t I visit my Granny’s house and do I need to ask you or your brother before visiting my grandma’
At the same moment Jenafur appeared
‘Hey Jen where had you gon?’ Flintop asked
‘Kitchen trying my hand for you and Gravelauy-The breakfast’s ready’



<~Previous Chapter || Next Chapter ~>


5 comments:

DustinM said...

Hello, I stumbled onto your blog via blogrush. I'm a real amateur of a writer so I can't give advice on your writing style one way or the other.

However, I do consider myself a professional blog reader. And As a professional reader I found reading your dialog to be rather difficult. I think it would be more readable if you double spaced the dialog.

For Example:

‘Yeah’

‘I survived that bullshit who tried to kill me’

‘How man how?’

Instead of:
‘What do you mean?’ asked Grevelauy staring at Flintop.
‘What do I mean?
‘Yeah’
‘I survived that bullshit who tried to kill me’

Double Spacing is how I do it on my blog. That of course doesn't mean that it's 'right', just my personal opinion.

The Lover said...

that's a really nice narration...

manorath said...

hey this one actually makes me go to the prev post..

anyway the rap kinda thing in ma blog..

i never thought peopl would take it for a poem.. i jus wrote what i felt at dat time as i din blog for a long time

Golden Vulture said...

nice one !!

~~~Golden Vulture~~~

unpretentious_diva said...

completed 9

 

© 2007 V.Col™. All Rights Reserved. |